| once again...it's been a while. |
[2/6/09@3:13am] |
so i haven't updated since october. wow.
the job is going swimmingly. christmas was incredibly overwhelming but it was fun as well. i love that i am constantly facing challenges, and that i have such a huge responsibility. anyway, jan. 2 was my 90 "review" which didn't really happen...but i got the raise so that's nice. i guess that means i'm doin' an alright job. woo!
everything is wonderful between scott and i. i swear i fall more in love with him everyday. there was a time when i had doubts about our relationship, about how he felt, and about having a future with him. yeah, that's pretty much passed. we had a good thanksgiving and christmas. i met his mawmaw at thanksgiving and within 5 minutes she told scott she loved me. haha. at christmas she gave me the same thing she gave scott and keith...a container filled with little packs of peanut m&m's. and as we were leaving she said "we love you jacki!" haha. it was sweet. i think she's the sweetest little lady pretty much ever. i also met various other relatives and i think scott's aunt on his mom's side is my favorite. she was funny and just a tiny bit drunk. haha. his family is so interesting though because his dad's brother and sister-in-law are VERY conservative while his mom's side is quite liberal. interesting conversation. scott also met my grandparents but that's not too big a deal i guess.
new year's this year was really boring. last year we worked...lame. this year i was sick so we spent the night in bed. it was acutally really nice even if no one else would have enjoyed it. we cuddled up together and watched TV and saw the ball drop. it was perfect for sick lil' ol' me. haha.
my birthday was amazing. we went to a funky restaurant downtown for dinner. on sunday we went to charleston for a few nights. this time it was scott who was sick but it worked out ok. our hotel was right downtown so we'd go out for a little while and then come back and nap. he was sweet though, trying so hard to pretend everything was fine so that i'd be happy. very cute.
overall....awesome ness. we're happy and that makes life wonderful.
nothing else exciting. still living at home. :( i hate it, but really i'm only here 3 nights a week. the rest of the time i'm at scott's. i want to move out but again, i don't want to live alone. also i'm worried that i'd be wasting money. my mom said i dont' really need to move out. plus i spend more time at scott's then here so why pay rent when i'll be with him a bunch?
ok, i really should go to bed...i don't know when i need to work tomorrow :(
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| seriously....i am wayyy to ADD sometimes.... |
[10/15/08@11:38pm] |
so first of all i haven't updated since summer vacation. my only vacation. which wasn't really all that bad. and since then...
ok. well nothing really thrilling has happened. since i'm taking the semester off (which is quite lovely actually) i've been working nonstop. and honestly? i don't really mind. it's exhausting yes, and my back kills from standing all day but hey it makes the paychecks that much better. plus as of last week i am officially the coffee/candy specialist at my store. i'm really lovin' it. first of all the whole deal with the lake fell through. it was a lot of retardedness and made me incredibly disappointed of certain people but it ended up working out. i decided after that to look for a new job while officially becoming full-time at carmel commons. i didn't really put that much effort into the new job thing because my mom isn't really forcing me out of the house at any point so as long as i could pay my current bills i didn't really care. so i got a raise for being full-time and things are pretty ok. then out of nowhere the c/c specialist puts in her two weeks. hell yes. ok, so other people wanted it and of all of them i think maybe one or two others really had a shot at the position but mike chose me. woooo! lol. and that meant another raise. so now i'm doing stuff all day. it's awesome. basically i plan my whole day...if i feel like bagging candy all morning and doing something else after lunch that's fine. no one is sitting there telling me when to go on break when to do this or that. and i have no retarded people to supervise and i don't really deal with pissed off customers. pretty much i really enjoy the new job. i'm still nervous about my success v. failure because while i love the lack of supervision there's no real measure of if i'm doing a good job. mike isn't patting me on the back every step of the way. which i don't expect, but at the same time i'm nervous that i'm gonna screw everything up. but then...i guess he'd be yelling at me. so no news is good news haha.
anyway, other then the job nothing is goin' on in life. things with scott are great. i had an emotional breakdown last night but it was ok. i feel bad because i think he was half irritated and half feeling guilty but really the whole situation wasn't his fault. all he wanted to do was watch a movie and i said fine and he did. and then....bawling. haha. but it wasn't that i didn't want him to watch the movie it was just a million things in one and i guess i just let something stupid set me off. but it was alright. i cried a lot and then felt much better. and he left me alone the whole time. which is really what i needed i didn't want someone saying it's ok i'm sorry blah blah blah because it just wouldn't help. i'd calm down and pretend to be ok for his sake. and really i think i'm just stressed out about life and need time to cry. it's healthy. :D so anywho, he finally came back in the room to see what was up and i relaxed and we slept. woo. and both of us missed our alarms. oops. but i wasn't late to work too bad so all was well. plus i got OT today because i worked the grand opening of the lake norman store. (it's gorgeous by the way!)
ok...that's about it.
oh...i need an apt but i'm scared to live alone (i know...lame.) and i want to live on this side of town. what to do?
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[7/18/08@11:59am] |
i'm on vacation.
with family.
and they are LOUD.
and all i want to do is sleep until 12 cst. but nope. i think i'll get up soon :(
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[6/3/08@11:37am] |
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growing up is scary.
especially when it happens all at once.
so...as of today i own my own car and have my own insurance policy.
i'm picking up the car tomorrow but it's paid for and all the papers are signed.
it's pretty nice actually. it's a 2000 hyundai sonata. it has under 100,000 miles. which is awesome. and yeah. but still it's terrifying because now i have to pay $180/mo insurance. it went up $30 and i have less coverage. i only have liability which means if i fuck up it only covers the other person. but i have to pay more because i haven't had my license for three years since my parents wouldn't let me get it when i was 16. and i have the accident from last year on my record.
i also have my credit card. it has no minimum payment which is good. but i'm still stressed out because i feel like i need to pay off the almost $80 that's on there. (sad story...it's just gas and ciggs. mostly gas :( ).
i am leaving this stupid house and staying with scott within the next week or two. yesterday just upset me so much and scott finally saw why i'm constantly so desperate to not be at home. i'm miserable here. i know i can be ungrateful and things at times but my mom really does treat me like shit. she bitched at me for not car shopping enough...even though i went every day i had off for a month. then i finally found a car and it wasn't good enough. then i went and looked at other places and she wasn't happy that i didn't find anything else. then when i tried to tell her how she was making me feel she yelled at me and said "well i never said that" no. you didn't. you just made me feel worthless is all. thanks mom.
so i'm scared to be paying all these bills on my own plus soon i'll have to add rent and health insurance. and that terrifies me as well. and no one can help me. and that's even more terrifying. but i'm sure i can handle it. ...right?
anywho...
i had an amazing time at the beach. jonesy came with scott and i (he's scott's new roomie that i worked with at ht) and we had so much fun. the tent only had one room for some reason...the other one was um...missing. lol. but it worked out fine. we got a site with water and electric so we had the air mattress and the three of us managed to fit fairly comfortably on it. lol. but when we got there saturday afternoon we set up the tent then went to the beach...funnnn! i didn't go out into the water at all because it was cold though :( but it's all good because it wasn't too expensive of a trip so maybe we'll be able to go back sometime this summer. the only reason it was so damn expensive was because we went out to eat and shit. lol. but anyway after the beach we got changed and went to broadway for dinner and such. we ended up eating at joe's which used to be fairly decently priced but ended up being almost $50 for just me and scott. holy shit! lol. anyway dinner we walked around for a while and went to a giant candy shop and got some yumminess. lol. then we went to the strip. jonesy and i decided we had to go to the club we drove by...it gave us something to do since we were staying in a tent and that can get dull quickly. so we ended up at "club exception" at about 10pm...way early lol. so when we payed $10 to get in we figured maybe more people would show up before about 12. wrong. we stayed til about 1150 and there were maybe thirty people there and about six of 'em were white and probably six were average weight. it's mean but i mean jonesy wanted chicks and the ones with rolls didn't quite make him happy. haha. so anyway we ended up leaving that place and i texted zach to find out where we should go. so we ended up at kryptonite...it's huge. although...i think the layout was kinda wierd. the dance floor was a little small but i think it was just because they have columns in a circle in the middle. anyway scott and i had a great time...he even admitted it! so he's gonna come to forum with me in like a week or two. so that's exciting haha. after that we got some pizza and went back to the campsite. scott and i went for a walk and (*warning*) had sex on the beach. it was so awesome. :D i've always wanted to do that so yeah...i was pretty effin' excited. anyway, after our walk we came back to the site and there was a raccoon right at the door of our tent. scott threw his pizza crust without thinking right outside and it was eating that. so we scared it away but it ended up at our neighbors campsite. we found out that this giant fucking racoon (i mean it was probably bigger then yankee...) ate all their meat. no wonder it was so fat...stupid people feed it lol. but these people were like supercampers. i mean they had everything you needed...we even saw wieghts. who brings weights camping? these people. and they forgot to put up the food. when we woke up we heard them fighting about it lol. oops. anyway...sunday we went to barefoot landing which was lame as hell because it was early but scott and i bought a new piece. it's cool as hell, it's a steam roller with a dragon inside and the smoke comes through it's mouth. fucking badass :D so there was more money lol. then jonesy took us out to lunch at the hard rock. that was yummy. then we decided to head home kinda early because scott and i wanted to smoke out of the new piece lol. plus we were all so tired. i drove back so they both ended up sleeping half the way home. of course...they woke up when i stopped at a gas station to get a map because i didn't know where i needed to go. but we weren't really lost. i knew where we were, i just didn't know where we needed to go next. lol. and it worked out that we really only lost about 20 min between the stop and getting to where we needed to be...so go me. i even figured out how to get there by myself. so what then?
now i'm gonna go to work :(
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| they changed the cookie crisp cartoon character... |
[5/28/08@4:12pm] |
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so i haven't updated on here in forever. sorry who ever might still read this (which i'm pretty sure is nobody...but whatever.)
1. i am thinking about getting a new job. i'm tired of all the front-end drama. it'd be one thing if it was all the cashiers bitching but i can't stand it when sandy bitches about stuff. she's in her fifties and is a department manager but she acts like a high school girl half the time. i'm sorry that there is someone who works over you and can override your decisions but c'mon. that's what happens. i'm tired of fighting to get hours. i have proven over the last three weeks that i am the BEST cashier at the store. I am the fastest. It's written on that stupid little chart. and I'm busting my ass for what? Not a single person has been punished for being slow. I'm sorry but i would be so pissed if i was a customer stuck with a cashier that only does ten or eleven items a minute. Think about it. It would take almost fifteen minutes for 100 items and to pay. And if those things are mostly bulk, candy, or produce...fuck that. it would probably take even longer. I can do twice, if not three times that. and yet i'm fighting to get a decent number of hours? why? that's ridiculous. i should have the most hours because i've earned them. end of story. i talked to mike and i'm going to talk to edward this week...probably tomorrow morning. If i don't start getting the hours i want...in any department...then i'm leaving. it's their choice really. i'll stay if i start getting the hours i've busted my ass to get. so we'll see how that works.
2. i have saturday-monday off from work. i have yet to find a new car but i'm going to myrtle for at least one night. scott, skye, will, maybe jerbear and i are going camping. i'm so fucking excited you don't even know. we're going to have an incredible time. the weather is supposed to be great. i'll get to lay out, get in the water and have a great fucking time. :D
3. i need to shower cuz i woke up late today and then go out and look at cars. woooooo....not. but i love love love getting off work early!
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[5/19/08@10:20pm] |
i am bored.
i want my fishsticks.
scott is taking forever to get home.
i was all excited that it would be just us tonight but whatever.
bryan came home.
wif his brother.
and a keg.
go figure.
haha.
anyway....
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[5/12/08@3:22pm] |
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| livin in my heart tonight |
[3/9/08@9:58pm] |
so....i havent updated in a week. oops. but i had a great break. i got to spend a ton of time with scott which was great, but i also spent time with jeremy, zach, and even abby which was a lot of fun. so yeah. the best part of break though was the second half of the week. i spent it with scott...and we had so much fun doing almost nothing. we did go to asheville though....and that was pretty awesome. anyway....
wednesday i went up to scott's at about 1030 and picked him up to go get some cook out (yummm). then we came back and i ate and then we went and played rock band. it was pretty cool. i loved the drums...but i have no rhythm so i let someone else play. the part that was really cool (and incredibly hard) was the singing. i wanted to try sooooo bad but i have a terrible singing voice so i decided i'll wait til i can do in when i'm alone (or with scott since he already knows how bad my voice is haha). but you have to get the right tone and stuff plus you are supposed to sing the words. what makes it hard is if you get stuck with a song you don't know...then your screwed. you don't know the words or how it's supposed to sound...it's hard. but still...very cool.
anyway after that scott and i went home and...yeah. ;) so that night was awesomee!
thursday i got up and went to work (lame). it was a gorgeous day and of course i was stuck at fresh market...oh well. anyway, i went home for lunch and talked to my mom for a bit cuz she got back in town while i was home. then back to work. home and then finally back up to scott's for the weekend :D we just chilled on thursday and i ended up falling asleep while scott was playing on the computer. he woke me up when he came to bed and i was already to go somewhere or something and he goes it's really late. i look at my phone...530 in the morning! i thought i'd only been asleep for a little bit but oh well. haha.
friday we got up super early and went to the bank to cash my paycheck, then we headed up to asheville. the weather was kinda crappy...but it only misted a little bit while we were up there walking around so it was all good. this was scott's first time in asheville so i took him to this really good hot dog place for lunch. he LOVED it. he's told everyone we've hung out with since friday night "omg i had the BEST hot dog yesterday..." it's so cute. haha. anyway, after hot dogs we walked around and shopped a little bit. we went to three head shops before scott found a bowl he approved of, but now we have a piece that belongs to both of us which is pretty cool. then i bought and incense burner and a few sticks of incense for scott's apartment. finally we had ice cream and headed towards home. on the way we stopped in gastonia to hang out with scott's friend george and show him the piece. so that was fun. we chilled and played some guitar hero. then we headed out and back up to the university area for dinner...mmm cici's. haha. we headed home, i napped, then went over to his friend's place for a while. fun. then back home.
saturday and sunday we pretty much just slept all day and chilled with our friend paul. lol. not too exciting.
anyway....the whole weekend was awesome. scott and i spent a ton of time alone without arguing or anything so that was great. we just had a lot of fun. so yeah. i'm glad it all went well.
and really that's all the interesting things that happened. haha. not much but it was a nice relaxing weekend. i'm quite happy with the break...even though it just ended way too fast.
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| characters welcome |
[2/28/08@11:20pm] |
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so life is alright.
things with scott are wonderful. but i'm still having issues with school (ugh...i don't want to be there) and my family (my mom has been sick for a week...so she's a complete bitch).
i don't want to talk about the shitty stuff though. it's not all that terrible so whatever i can deal. but i do want to gush like a silly girl about scott.
everything in our relationship has improved ten fold. through all this stuff i've been dealing with he's been there for me. and everytime i'm a complete bitch for whatever ridiculous reason he lets me calm down until i realize how much is really upsetting me and how much i'm just blowing out of proportion. then he apologizes for whatever is really a problem and lets the whole thing go. it's nice. and we've been spending a bunch of time together just the two of us. which is weird because usually he needs his space, but lately it's been good. we've had so much fun doing nothing all that special. he makes me smile so much. its great. :D
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[2/21/08@3:56pm] |
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he makes me so angry sometims.
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| it's late...but i made a new layout! |
[2/18/08@1:12am] |
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so it's late. i feel icky. i'm not sleepy. and i have to get up early. lame.
but...
i made a whole new layout. it took forever. since i'm a retard and couldn't edit the right parts. but ok. it's all good and pretty now. let me know what you think? i'd love it. ♥
and...
ridiculous i know. but i love scott. so very much. i am so glad that i have him around to hold my hand and make me feel better through all of this.
the end. time for bed.
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| <3 |
[2/13/08@9:46pm] |
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so valentine's day is tomorrow. and it's pretty much the only day i won't be spending with scott this week :( haha. but it's ok. we're celebrating friday...we're gonna have a picnic :D i'm excited about that. it's gonna be a day for just us...except he has to work 7p-11p. that's lame but it's ok because i need a nap time anyway. and that's a good time.
i hate all the crap i've had to deal with lately. and i'm dreading wednesday. but i'm glad that scott and my mom will be with me. that's the only good thing.
mel and elly asked me to be their 4th roommate next year. i think it'd be a good idea. but it's more money. so i don't know. i'll have to talk to my momma about rent and such because i know i can't make enough money to pay rent and my bills. ew. but u village is close to u club so i can walk to scott's and it's better then living with him since he gets tired of me sometimes. :D i would get tired of me to though. but they'd be great to live with. and i like u village. they're nice apts. and they're only like a year old now. that's not bad at all. so yeah.
way too much to think about and deal with right now. omg.
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| it got me in the eye |
[1/31/08@4:19pm] |
i don't have much to update about right now :(
scott and i are still having issues but i'm trying to move on. sorta. lol. it's complicated. i promise i'll give a better update soon i just need to figure some stuff out.
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| i know you wanna know |
[1/20/08@6:54pm] |
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so things with scott are good. we're not doing well with the whole "platonic friendship" thing...and i promise we've tried. but it's ok. we've talked about it and we're going to get back together...just not yet. so we're together "unofficially" right now. which is good. i guess.
he's still confused about something, but i think the biggest issue is me. since i suck at giving him his space and such. but i'm confident it will be ok. i trust him (even though i do have issues with that...) and he's been honest about everything lately so i know that he loves me and wants to be with me. so that's good.
schools pretty good.
living at home isn't too bad.
i start back at fresh on thursday.
my birthday was awesome. basically, the best since my 16th. i only had 2 classes in the morning. then i got sonic for lunch. then i hung out with scott and bryan for a while. scott and i went out to dinner at maggiano's (yum!) then came home for birthday cake with my family. then we headed back up there and yeah. i bought a fifth of rum earlier in the week which an unknown someone opened (and it really wasn't scott or bryan because they could barely choke down the rum and coke they were drinking that night) and drank 3/4s of. So scott bought another fifth and the three of us decided to play circle of death with our mixed drinks. after i had a few shots. so yeah. i don't remember much after the end of the game. :D but apparently i got sick and went to bed. all before the snow :( which came at like 1am so it wasn't my birthday anymore... :( haha. but overall it was a great night.
then yesterday my mom and i went to lateada's which was really cute and yummy. then we saw the norman rockwell exhibit which was great. then i went back up to scott's last night and we went and saw juno. which was a really good movie. so now my birthday is all over :( but it was the best in a while so yay!
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| why? |
[1/12/08@8:30pm] |
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so, two days ago everything was pretty great. two days ago i spent the afternoon at scott's. two days ago he begged me to come back over when i left. and thirty minutes later. everything changed. he told me he loved me and then broke up with me. what the hell? because he "doesn't need a girlfriend right now." wow. perfect timing i guess. and i don't even want to talk about it because i don't want to cry. but yeah. it's over. and i feel like i just lost my best friend. i feel like this is so ridiculous. i feel like i'm going to be sick. because it's so much more complicated then i could even explain.
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| gloria's in my shower |
[1/10/08@11:35am] |
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So for once life is looking okay. There's a balance of good and bad...which i hope means that this semester won't have as many ridiculously depressing crashes. Since I did so bad last semester my parents wouldn't pay for housing on campus, so I had to move back home. It sucks, but it's not as bad as I expected. I'm still pretty much free to do whatever I want, and this weekend I'm staying at Scott's so I'm really looking forward to that. Gloria's here now which makes me happy, but she leaves on Sunday. Ian will be around until February, so I'll have someone to hang out with. Yay! I also put in my notice at HT because I got my job back at Fresh. So I'll get to hang out with people from there which will be fun.
Right now I have class on MWF. Two on Monday and Friday, four on wednesday. I thought that would be awful, but yesterday was my first day and I don't think it will be too bad. Especially since the latest I'll ever work is 9:30ish now. So i'm excited about that.
Also, January is the shit. Why? Because in SIX DAYS i will be twenty. I'm so excited. One of my classes is cancelled so Scott and I are going to get lunch, then we're going to Maggiano's for dinner. We also have friday off from work to chill and then on saturday night we're going to see badfish. During the day on saturday mom and I are going to this place uptown called La Tea Da for tea (obviously), and then we're going to see the Norman Rockwell exhibit at discovery place. So i'm really excited about that.
I just can't believe I'm going to be twenty. Everyone says it's not a big birthday because you're just twenty...you still can't drink. But I remember how excited I was when I turned thirteen. I was FINALLY a teenager! it was such a big deal because teenagers were so cool and got to do so much better stuff and they went to high school. Now I can't believe that's over. I can't believe that I am only a few years away from graduating, living on my own, marriage...it's terrifying but exciting at the same time. Hopefully I'll be getting an apartment off campus next fall but it all depends on my money situation. And if i can find people I want to room with. :/ We'll see though, I'm sure it will work out.
I think that's it...and i'm gonna go brush my teeth because we're running errands and then riding the light rail today!
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| in florida! |
[12/28/07@2:17pm] |
so the weather's awesome. i already got to go out in the golf cart. the drive wasn't too bad but my mom let me drive for the last 2 1/2 hours, which was nice because it relieved the boredom. but now i'm gonna hook up the wii and play guitar hero.
ugh and i miss scott already. friggin gay.
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| buh |
[12/27/07@11:33pm] |
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i'm sleepy. christmas was good. we're leaving for florida in about 4 hours. i'm gonna miss scott. we've spent a lot of time together lately, so it will be good for us to have some space. break sucks a bit though. my friends seem to be too busy for me or i dont know. but no one has called me and when i call them my calls are never returned. not cool. but whatever. hopefully we'll be able to hang out when i get back. i have to get a student loan next week and i don't know how i can do that. i need a cosigner. i think. but i don't know who will do it because my parents wont. because ugh. life is just gay at the moment. that's really all.
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| christmas in the south |
[12/21/07@6:24am] |
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so scott gave me my christmas present the other night and it's awesome. basically this is the one thing i've consistently asked for since the first time i saw it. and scott remembered that it was the first thing i asked for...and seriously wanted. so yay.
yay for zippos! haha. now i have my very own. how essiting!
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| ample storage space... |
[12/20/07@11:08pm] |
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ew i'm sicky. no fun. geez scott. lol. it's ok though. i'm feeling better then i did yesterday and i'm spending another night just relaxing and watching tv. i have tomorrow off and then i work saturday, sunday, and monday. gross. i also need to do stuff tomorrow.
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